TV Licence Authority. Auntie’s Enforcers.

September 15, 2007

What is it with these people? Could they be any more determined to pick a fight? I’m on my third threatening letter in as many months and await my visit from the ‘London South Enforcement Division’. A quick summary of the story so far:

June 2007 – first contact. A red bordered letter in a similarly styled envelope, lots of bold lettering etc. with a charming little section at the end about the possibility of a visit, which could entail a statement being taken in accordance with the ‘Police & Criminal Evidence Act 1984′. Nothing like getting a relationship off to a good start. I am now determined to drag this out as long as possible and cost them as much time and money as I can. It’s going to be tough though. All I have is too much time on my hands and a vague sense of persecution. Their weapons, paid with taxpayers’ money, are an office full of drones and machines endlessly spewing out these threats. Many have been down this road before me. Let the battle commence.

July 2007 – second letter. Nice big red caps this time. “Your details are being passed to our enforcement officers”. And what’s this?…”If you are continuing to watch..television programme[s]..” Note that the possibility that I wasn’t watching in the first place appears to be ruled out. Apparently I will be getting a visit soon. Good. I’ve been waiting.

August 2007 – third letter. Now I have an “OFFICIAL WARNING” (as opposed to the official vague and unconvincing threats that I previously received?), but this time they’ve dropped the red ink. It’s now in nice calm blue. They have obviously caught on that I’m not really that scared of colours. Where’s my visit? I’m assured that it’s definitely on the way soon, and my statement may be “the first step towards prosecution”..I’ll be “added to the National Enforcement Database” (oh no, they have a database – this must be like the sex offenders one, but probably worse) and so on. Can you imagine the meetings where they come up with this stuff? How many names did they consider before arriving at ‘National Enforcement Database’? It’s perfect really, each word carefully chosen to convey a sense of authority and menace and yet the whole is actually completely meaningless.

What strikes me as the really nice side of all this, is that this is the way our publicly funded tv network corresponds with the old and vulnerable, when the ‘database’ thinks they haven’t coughed up. Charming. I await my visit with anticipation. My statement is well and truly prepared.



  1. Many people seem to just stand by and allow their neighbours to be the victims of our societies bullying culture, the TV Licencing bullies have got away with it for to long, I’m right behind you.

    If you feel you are the victim of bullying report it to the police, see what they do.

    Threatening, intimidating letters are not acceptable.

    Join my campaign

    Abolish the BBC TV Licence


  2. Ignore the looser’s and they can’t do anything about it


  3. Are your letters the same as these on here – http://www.bbctvlicence.com

  4. To whom is TV Licensing accountable? They must be amongst the most incompetent and malicious bureaucrats I have ever had misfortune to deal with in any country. No matter how many times you tell them their records are wrong you still keep getting threatening letters.

  5. All you need to do to stop TVL is write to them withdrawing their implied rights of access to your property.

    I got rid of my TV licence in June after deciding to not watch TV anymore. I got the usual threatening letters and found on the internet that they only way to stop the inspectors and the letters was to withdraw implied rights of access.

    I also told them not to communicate with me other than to acknowledge and comply with my letter. They wrote back saying they would comply and the threatening letters have stopped and noone has visited yet….

    Life without TV is just great!

  6. TV Licenses are free. All you need to do to qualify for a free TV License is to throw your threatening letters in a bin or burn them on your open fire like I do, thats the only reason why I dont mind getting the letters, then answer the door to anybody who knocks but dont let anybody in unless you know them. This TV License guy who I did not know asked if he could come in to see if I had a tv set, I told him I have, he said do you use it to watch television programmes, I said no, he said what do you have a tv set for, I said as an ornament because I was fetched up with a TV in the living room and now I have a house, it looked bare without a TV in the corner so I went out and bought one because the room looks more homely with a TV set in the room but I have never watched a TV program on it to date. I only use it for playing on the play station and watching my own home made videos of TV License enforcers knocking on peoples doors, I even have a DVD of the visit to my house of this very story, I waited for this day to happen and I knew one day it would. I am not sure whether or not to share this video on the web bin fear of some legal matter to do with the TV License enforcer, next time I get a visit, I might invite the next License enforcer in to watch the video.

    Life would not be the same without a TV set in my front room but life is alot better without a TV License.

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